TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR CHIX IN FLIX
1. THOU SHALT NOT CRY AT WORK
Ever. Tears don’t belong in the office. Gather your thoughts. Then
subtract the inappropriate emotion and behave like a pro.
2. THOU SHALT NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH THY BOSS
It’s the shortest route to getting fired, and the legitimacy of
anything you accomplish will be questioned. All rumors are true. If
you must have an affair at the office, try a peer.
3. THOU SHALT SUBDUE THY SEXUALITY
Only actresses are allowed to be overtly seductive; it's their job.
Like in high school, women must guard their reputations, and come-on
is uncool. But also take flirtatious pleasure in male company. Men
will be so relieved to be noticed. Big sister works for me. Little
sister is even more effective.
4. THOU SHALT NOT DISH OTHER WOMEN
There are plenty of men around to bash us. Competing with women is
passé. Compete with everyone.
5. THOU SHALT UNDERSTAND THINE OWN PERSONAL STYLE
A woman must know what she looks best in, define her personal style.
She must wear it well, keep it clean, and get great haircuts. She
must have a great facialist, nutritionist, manicurist, and, most
important, colorist. No one goes gray in Hollywood, and style
always, always matter. It says you know who you are.
6. THOU SHALT ENTERTAIN
Entertaining enhances a woman’s profile, even though there’s nothing
quite as dreary as an industry party.
7. THY SHALT KEEP THY MIND AND BODY WELL TUNED
Read books. Work will not sustain intellectual curiosity (and be
terrified if it does). And be physically active. Be your own coach.
8. THOU SHALT RETURN ALL THY PHONE CALLS
The Sherry Lansing secret to success. Damnit, be polite. No one can
bear the arrogance of a woman who doesn't return her calls. How dare
she? Isn't she grateful? Anyway, we know better.
9. THOU SHALT NOT APPEAR TOUGH
Be tough, but only men are allowed to appear tough. Use the velvet
glove over your iron fist, but never scream at anyone. Ever. (This
includes all service-related screaming at hairdressers, messengers,
assistants.) Everyone is waiting for powerful women to become
dragon-ladies: don't play to ugly expectations.
10. THOU SHALT BE A PRO AT ALL TIMES
Taking disappointment in stride, being graceful in the face of
rejection, keeping perspective on the true scale of a problem, are
all large parts of being a pro. Feuds must be avoided because anyone
with whom a woman is feuding is likely to show up in a crucial role
in her next project. Composure is the key. No one wants to work with
a nut, no matter how talented. People must feel they can count on
you. And when they can, you're a pro.
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