CLASSIC RESPONSES TO THE PITCH

1. Getting a Firm Maybe (Most common among middle-level executives). Take the buyer at his/her word, even if s/he doesn’t want you to. Don’t read too much into it. It’s not a good sign, true, but it’s not a bad one either.

2. Being Yessed to Death. A) This is wonderful. We can’t believe how well-executed it is. Unfortunately, there’s no room for a piece of this quality in our production plans. B) I love this! My boss loves this! We’re sending this upstairs where we’re sure they’ll love this too. C) Great! If you get Julia Roberts, we’re a “Go.”

3. Getting the door slammed (painful, avoid at all costs). A) This is too broad for our taste. B) This is too subtle for our taste. Or “No hard concept.” In the locker-room ethos of Hollywood, there is nothing worse than phallic defeat. C) We have too many stories just like this. (An out-and-out lie indicating profound lack of originality. You don’t want to work with them either). D) This is too unique (read: You‘re a kook). E) Great! If you get Julia Roberts, we’re a “Go.” (The classic jerk-off, as if you’re too dumb to know Julia Roberts is unavailable.)

4. Taking yes for an answer (more difficult than it appears). Know your buyer’s mood, these people have short attention spans. And when you find a moment of “yes” seize it. All you have to do is identify the moment your buyer likes it. The moment it becomes - his/hers. The dumbest thing you can do is turn a yes into a no.